Counselling foundations
Why Counselling?
I'm an engineer who wanted a new challenge involving people. My sister, an MACP graduate and practicing counsellor, thought I might be suited for the work. To prepare me, she sent me Bob Newhart's "Stop It!" sketch as a warning—the message was clear: I'm a solutions guy, and that instinct needs channeling. Problem-solving isn't the problem; jumping to solutions before understanding is.
The foundational elements of a discipline are often a bit dull. You have to work through the basics to get to anything meaty—something satisfying. Although, when exploring a completely new discipline everything has a glimmer of the shiny and new, and you have to get the fundamentals down to get good at anything. Here is what I've learned so far about counselling.
Nature or Nurture? Yes.
Is who we are determined at birth—a matter of genetics—fate, if you want to be poetic, or is our character a function of the experiences we have? Presenting it as an either/or matter is misleading. There is a biological component to who we are. I think we all feel that intuitively—a feeling of uniqueness, a belief that the way we experience the world is some function of who we are at our cores. But also, there is no denying the conditions we grew up in, our family, and our specific experiences have shaped us. Science supports both sides; nature—we are born to grow with our own particular leanings, but also nurture—our culture, family, and experiences shape us in profound ways. Nature or nurture? Yes, both.
The nurture element of the equation is important. Otherwise, we are stuck—it's all fated from birth, and if that's the case, why bother trying to change. The good news is that the brain isn't fixed. Mature brains continually change and adapt. This knowledge transforms therapy from managing damage to guiding neurological rewiring. Clients aren't prisoners of their past programming—they can literally create new neural pathways through evidence-based interventions.
Self-Awareness Is Non-Negotiable
Counsellors can only understand their clients to the degree they understand themselves. We all have biases, both inherited and experiential, and the bugger of the whole thing is that it's difficult to recognize our biases—the person born wearing rose-coloured glasses just thinks that's what the world looks like.
There is no single truth. Humility and curiosity are the best tools available to understand another person. The therapeutic relationship itself sits at the foundation of counselling—clients experience what it feels like to be genuinely respected, perhaps for the first time. For some, that respect begins the process of rebuilding a sense of self damaged by trauma, loss, or being repeatedly discounted.
My analytical nature may become a barrier if I over-intellectualize emotional processes. But also, I've learned from other endeavours that you shouldn't just focus on improving your weaknesses, but lean into your strengths. The "scientist of the self" approach appeals to my nature and hopefully I can evolve that tool beyond observation toward genuine emotional engagement. Professional isolation is a real risk in therapeutic work—supervision and peer consultation aren't just helpful, they're ethically necessary and will be invaluable for identifying biases I cannot see.
I'm still learning to challenge my go-it-alone tendencies, but that's rather the point. You don't enter this field already equipped. You enter it willing to be changed by the work.
